Shadow Hound

I’d never seen Mom so mad. There was a tension in her set jaw, a determination to protect her babies. I liked that about Mom. She was protective. Even if she didn’t know what she was protecting her kids from she would do anything she could to keep them safe. I sighed a little happy sigh of love and flopped down at her feet.

“Oh,” Mom pulled back for a second as she felt me on her feet. “Sweetie, I didn’t realize you were out here.” Bending down she picked me up and I draped my arms around her as she snuggled me. “I’m so sorry. Did you see Mommy being all grouchy with grandma?” She ruffed the hair on top of my head and let me melt into her shoulder. “I’m sorry. You know I’m not angry at you and Caleb, right?” The only reply I could make was a soft sigh of agreement as I burrowed closer to the constant safety that was my Mommy.

It had been a long time since I had gone anywhere for fun. Okay, my daycare was fun, playing with other kids like me. We’d run in a pack around the yard, yipping with delight to be playing with others who were the same. But that was an everyday kind of thing. Today we were going to the beach.

Beaches were fun because of sand and waves. Digging in the sand, running away from waves. And the wind from the window on the way to the beach.

Despite the stiff cool breeze whipping in my face, I couldn’t help running down the empty stretch of sand, my hair streaming behind me. I whopped with joy. I chased seabirds clustered on the shore until they flew away. I played tag with the waves. My feet slipping and scattering fine grains as I went. And when I could run no more, I dug through the sand to the water level. A mist of tan-grey grains spraying out behind me as I crouched over the hole while my claws dug furiously.

I admit the beach had made me forget about the thing that terrorized me in the dark. For a time. But Caleb didn’t forget. Instead of the wild abandon he usually indulged in when were allowed unlimited space to play in, my brother walked carefully down the dunes from the parking lot to the shore. When I finally expended enough of my frenzied energy, I realized that Caleb hadn’t joined me in playing. Instead, he scuffed sullenly at the seashells that littered the smooth wave patterns left by the retreating tides.

Seeing his depression, my spirits fell. I felt myself deflating and I hated it. With a heavy heart, I trotted over to Caleb and leaned against him. He sat down heavily beside me, grit splashing out from his impact like a tiny tsunami, and he pulled me into a big hug. “I don’t want to go to grandma’s if you have to stay in that house without me.” Part of me was sad. But another part of me had trouble connecting to the way I felt at night when I was scared.

That was a thing that I knew was different about me. I just couldn’t feel sad or scared right now because the things that made me feel that way weren’t happening. Instead, I was just happy to have hugs. And sand. Oh my gosh, and the birds. Those birds were back and needed to be chased. I looked up at Caleb and back at the birds, willing him with my mind to notice that there was a flock of…hundreds…it had to be hundreds of birds settling back to the undulating wet expanse revealed by the low tide. Had. To. Chase. NOW!

My body stiffened with anticipation. Finally. Caleb noticed. “You want to go chase the seagulls don’t you.” I was too distracted to respond, nearly vibrating with the chance to play and run after something again. “Okay.” He stood wearily to his feet, like an old person, as if he had the weight of too many years dragging him down as he walked. “Let’s go get them.”

He started out jogging. So. Slowly. Like, who moves that slowly when they are chasing birds. Seriously? I groaned in frustration as I trotted next to him. “What’s wrong?” He cajoled. “Oh, you want to go faster? Okay.” Gradually his speed increased and transitioned into an all-out run. At some point, I lost my mind and just peeled off ahead of him. Caleb might have been bigger and older than me, but I was so much faster. Those fat, smug seagulls weren’t going to get away from me. I would chase them and… chase them…okay.