Into The Abyss

Caleb

‘Thing’ and I had bonded over Jerry from accounting’s generally dickish behavior. The bear – Jerry was a teddy bear, a living teddy bear with fuzzy pink stuffed animal fur and stuffing and everything – had a tendency to play pranks. He ate all the snacks in the office. The shared snacks provided by management he greedily ate up without sharing. And the employee lunches were raided by his wayward paws regularly and with impunity.

The bear’s official position was just a paper pusher in accounting. But he was never there. Or rather, he was everywhere. Everywhere. Thing swore to Satan that he had never seen Jerry do a single second of work.

He was constantly chatting around the lava-fountain with other workers getting a hot cuppa flow on break. Or he was messing with the human souls, messing up torture schedules. And hell forbid that dirty rat bastard sees an unattended vehicle because he was going joyriding. Wagons, carts, minecarts, trains – yes, Thing informed me politely, hell does, in fact, have trains.

Somehow, none of the management cared that, Jerry; one, wasn’t a demon, and two, no one knew who hired him. Literally, no one. Where did he come from? How did he get into hell? Who let him in?

The bear was most certainly alive, so he wasn’t some clever soul who managed to sneak away from the arrivals terminal and trick everyone into thinking he worked there. The more Thing ranted, the more I understood him. Both verbally as his words became clearer to me – or maybe I was just getting used to his dialect – and emotionally.

Like I get it. I’ve dealt with bullies. Those kids that cause drama and harass and distract everyone all class long making you take forever to finish your assignments. But somehow, though they never did a single second of work, they have a completed assignment to turn in at the end of class. I hate those people too.

And Jerry had been the Employee of the Month for his department ever since he showed up.

“You want to walk? I can put you down if you want?” Thing’s offer completely surprised me. “As long as you promise not to run.” I grinned and nodded.

“Sure. I mean, it’s not like I’m going to make it back to the surface through an army of demons with you chasing me.” I laughed and Thing slurped a reluctant chuckle also. But his form drooped, I could tell I had hurt his feelings. “Hey. Don’t worry. I know you were just doing your job. Fist bump?”

I held up a fist and Thing rallied and bumped it with a squishy semi-translucent tentacle. Thing seemed, different. Like, there had been a thing that had been stalking through our home and it had seemed so malevolent. Like, I knew my very existence was in danger from his presence. This Thing? He just seemed like a guy doing a job.

“Hey. I don’t want to be ‘that human’ who thinks that all of you tentacle demons look alike, but are you the same demon that came from the pit at my house?” I watched my feet on the perfectly clean floor. “The one that’s been coming through the house searching for us every night?”

“Pugh! Pshaw! No way.” Thing answered with squelches and squeaks. “That dude is a creep. I don’t know why the bosses put him on you. Yeah, you’re important to the success of the invasion, but come on. You don’t put a serious evil possession, soul stealer, on someone you want to whole. You only use those guys for – ”

Thing stopped his rant abruptly and looked up at me guiltily. We both knew he’d said things he wasn’t supposed to tell me. And he was checking slyly to see my reaction. But Thing was trusting me, and I wanted to make sure I had a friend for when I tried to escape so I ignored that part.

“Can we sic Jerry on that dude? He feels like he could use like a thousand years of Jerry.” Thing laughed. It was another squelchy liquid cackle. But he laughed and it made him less intimidating.

“I’m pretty sure a thousand years of Jerry is how you get a guy like that.” Then I cracked up and we kept walking. A seemingly endless hallway. Out the windows, was hell. Souls slaving away in the fire and brimstone forging weapons for demons. Demon legions practiced marching, practicing fighting, and running through obstacle courses like a military training camp.

A thought occurred to me.

On the other side were offices and conference rooms. Somewhere ahead were the green rooms and whatever was waiting for me. I knew we were getting close when Thing became skittish, glancing around fearfully. He quivered in terror with each sliding amorphous step.