Into The Abyss

I’ve got a thing for this girl at work.

Alright. Alright. She’s a woman, not a girl. Gotta remember I can’t call her that in this politically correct world. We only cross paths during our breaks in the lunchroom since she’s one of the eggheads over in accounting and I’m one of the jarheads that do the actual work our security firm gets paid for.

Maybe if I was better with numbers, I could see more of her.

Anyways, I like the way her eyes sparkle with mirth when she pretends she ain’t listening to me share trashy jokes with the boys around the water cooler. When she smiles and hands me a fresh cup of coffee before I have a chance to pour one for myself, I would say it melts my soul but in general she has the opposite effect on certain parts of my anatomy. What? This is me being “PC”. It’s as clean as my mind is ever going to get.

That’s how I find myself pulling up in my beat-up clunker Chevy at dusk, it’s an old P.O.S. but it gets me where I gotta go, to her place unannounced like a fucking stalker. She’s been upset at work for a few days and I finally…kind of…cornered her in the parking garage and got her to tell me what was wrong.

Yeah? You got a problem with that? Well fuck you! If I had people skills, I’d be married already and at home playing with my kids while my wife is getting dinner ready instead of being a perpetually horny bachelor pushing forty-five walking nervously up the driveway of a chick who doesn’t know I can’t stop thinking about her.

Whatevah! I offered her my services – not that kind of services you perverts. Just…you know…I work in security…she’s having a security issue…sorta. Or she might be having a my-kid-has-mental-health-issues kind of issue. We don’t know yet. That’s why I’m here.

The point is, she works for a God Damned security firm. The second someone who lived in her home thought someone or something was breaking in, she ought to have enlisted some assistance from our firm. It’s like, literally, what we do. Maybe not have made an official request, in case the kid really was losing it, but at the least, somebody could have passed her a wi-fi security camera on the DL.

But we never got that far in our conversation. I did manage to pass her my cell digits and told her to text or call if she needed any help and we’d get her hooked up with some surveillance if she wanted it. She never showed up at work today and I heard…okay fine…I didn’t hear, I investigated and got someone from HR to tell me that she had called out for a personal day. Fuck! I’m just diggin’ that ‘stalker’ hole bigger as I go ain’t I?

I was afraid that maybe I had scared her off. It’s not unusual for me to have that kind of effect on women…and just about everyone else. I’m a dumb guy who’s kind of big and scary. I’m so big and scary that it became my job to be the Big Scary Guy. Yeah, that is capitalized. When a customer tells my boss that they want someone ‘Big’ and ‘Scary’, my boss goes, ‘Daniel Adams is your guy.’

So, I was kind of thrilled when the girl, I mean woman, I had the hards for texted tonight to let me know the kid said it had happened again. Somebody was supposedly in their house last night without waking her up. To be clear, I wasn’t thrilled because of what happened, I was thrilled because she texted me. And wasn’t, ya’ know, avoiding me. Ah ha ha. Shit.

They weren’t going to stay at the place anymore which meant I could hook up cameras to see what was going on and it wouldn’t be pervy that she never actually gave me permission to do it. I mean, we had talked about it… Yeah, no! I know that wasn’t going to fly in court if she decided that she didn’t want me to do it and I got caught. I’ve had to testify against stalkers as part of my job enough times to know that for sure.

Yet, I was determined to do some’n to help out and this was the kind of thing I am best at. When I found out who was scarin’ that kid, if there was anyone at all, I was gonna pop that mo-fo hard before I let the local LEO’s drag his sorry ass off.